/yesod

Author: T.M. Camp

  • limbo

    So I have received a dose of poison and I am slowly dying. My body is slowing down and seizing up. I can feel my muscles and joints hardening… Dying.

    As I’m going, my father is holding me and I’m crying. I’m asking him questions. “Will I go to heaven? Tell [REDACTED] I’ll miss her.”

    I can feel my body going, my vision fading. It’s all darkness.

    I’m crying and I say “Oh Daddy…”

    Then I die.

    Complete blackness.

    The next moment there is light and music. I can hear “Oscillate Wildly” by The Smiths. I look down at my feet. I’m standing on a tile floor. I look around.

    The Grim reaper strolls by and says “Welcome to Hell… er, I mean Limbo. Sorry.”

    I am in Hell. And Hell is a grocery store.

    Shelves. Produce. Boxes. Sterile Muzak.

    Instead of a shopping cart, I push a gurney. My body is stretched out on it.

    I push the gurney up and down the aisles and the dream loses form…

    [Note: Where I feel it is appropriate or relevant, I’ll include the names of people who show up in my dreams. In some cases, however, it may be prudent to redact these — as I’ve done here.]

  • the three old men

    Three old men. Drunken and cheaply dressed sit in a library and make vulgar innuendos to every girl who walks by. In the background a brass ensemble plays Cab Calloway tunes.

  • mother, father, cat

    Do demons stand still? Can you look for them in corners or out of the way places? Do demons stop long enough for you to see them? Do demons stand near us? Where do they stand?

    In the dream, my house has been transformed into a filthy hole. The kitchen is a mess, bits of food, dirty pots and pans, and crusty dishes piled everywhere.

    My mother sits on the patio and smokes cigarettes.

    My father sits in the living room, studying Talmud.

    I try to clean up the mess.

    My cat walks though my dream, his mind embraced by madness. His mouth gapes, his eyes stare, insane light shining through. His tongue flaps out between his fangs, drooling mucous and vomit. He yowls to wake the dead.

    I call to my mother to put on her glasses. I ask her “Can you see him? Can you see the cat?” She doesn’t answer. And I ask her again, and then I say “Can you see demons..?” And I go into my earlier ideas on demons. I speak and the cat yowls and in the living room my father is a dusty corpse.

    When I woke from this dream I was saying “Do demons stand still?” in a breathless gasp.

  • gitchy

    a hard couple of months

    visualizing, thin times