Waking from a dream of Winterly, I turn in the bed and shift my position to ease my sore back.
And back into dreams I go…
–
For some reason, I am in drag. I am wearing a black bodysuit and corset, covered by a long draped coat in ivory. I wear a white bob wig.
I do not know why I am wearing what I am wearing. I feel self-conscious about my weight and waistline, even with the corset. I draw the coat around me as nonchalantly as I can manage.
Somewhere downtown at an event, possibly a wedding shower. I am sitting at a round table, chatting with a young woman and man seated next to me.
She is dark-haired and has an appealing, if somewhat conventionally contemporary, appearance. Like a secondary charter in a TV drama about corporate attorneys. Not my type and yet I find myself drawn to her.
Her companion is effeminate and flirting with me as we talk, touching my forearm or shoulder to make his point. I don’t want to embarrass him and, always trying to adapt to others, I return the same flirty energy.
It’s a pleasant conversation and I am enjoying the back and forth with each of them. I’m even starting to feel comfortable in my drag ensemble. Empowered even.
When the man excuses himself and gets up to leave, I am genuinely sorry to see him go. Though I am not the slightest bit gay, it’s always nice to be noticed.
I get up and shift into his seat, turning to the woman. The flirty pose is gone and I am more my authentic self, just chatting with her a little more directly.
She is clearly confused. After a few minutes of conversation, she stops me and asks “What is going on?”
“What do you mean?”
She gestures after her departed friend, then back to my outfit. “All of this, I mean, why are you acting like this with me… aren’t you gay?”
I tell her I am straight and I apologize for the confusion my outfit might have caused.
“It’s not that,” she says, implying that she finds it somewhat attractive—or, at least, interesting. “I just didn’t think you were interested.”
I tell her I am and for a moment we both sit and consider where to take the conversation from this new common ground.
–
And then I wake up.