Tag: wife

  • argument

    Arguing with two women to whom I am both somehow  married. One is younger and very ambitious, middle eastern descent. She is furious with me, holding onto some misconception that I am preventing her from pursuing her career. 

    Furious at the accusation, I point out how my first marriage was nothing but supportive of my wife’s efforts, even to the ultimate detriment of my own life and our relationship.

    It’s a frustrating exchange and it only ends when a reporter arrives to interview her. 

    They leave and the other woman—my other wife?—somewhat older and milder, leads me away to reassure me. 

    As the evening settles into night, we stand near a chain link fence supported by thick wooden posts overlooking a high canyon. 

    The fence sags in places and we step out onto it, bouncing together.

  • friend in need

    In the night, as I move through a crowded back street, I get a message from someone who used to be a friend but is now, after much time and distance, nothing more than a vague acquaintance.

    “I need your help.”

    A few minutes later I walk into a one-room bar that barely qualifies as a place of business, let alone an actual physical structure. 

    Bare floorboards and walls, stained by spilled drink and nicotine. Dim bulbs strung along one wall. Reek of sour memories and beer. 

    In the back corner, some men are—inexplicably—dumping out large bottles of cheap, bottom shelf gin. 

    Adam sits on a stool, clearly and wholly drunk. I sit next to him and wave off the offer from the clearly concerned woman serving behind the counter. 

    He does not and, as she pours, she tells him he needs to eat something. But if he has as much cheap liquor in him as I suspect he does, he wouldn’t be able to keep anything down. 

    “I have fucked my life,” he tells me. “All of it. My career, it’s fucked. All of it.” 

    The self-loathing is palpable and all I can say is that I am sorry.

    The woman brings over a bowl of cereal, multicolored loops already fading and dissolving into a slurry of gray. He pushes the bowl away and it sloshes over the bar top.

    A large man approaches, clearly in charge of taking care of the surly and unwelcome. But the woman waves him off, showing more sympathy than Adam deserves. 

    “I’ve got it,” I tell her, and help my friend try to stand. As he turns, he sees the bouncer there behind us as shoves him back. 

    It’s a mistake. The bouncer moves in and takes charge of him. Adam shoves him again, this time reeling back  to punch the much, much larger man in his substantial gut to literally no effect. 

    With a quick, economical movement of his shoulder,  the bouncer calmly folds Adam around his fist. 

    I take my cue and help him stumble out of the back, back onto the street.

    I bring him home. My wife isn’t pleased by this intrusion but there’s nowhere and no one else. I set him up in a cluttered back bedroom, telling him to sleep it off. But he is restless and starts talking about a writing project he’s working on, asking to see some old comic books I have. 

    I tell them that they’re all boxed up in the basement and he stumbles his way downstairs to find them.

    As I write this now, I recognize that somewhere in the course of the dream, the person changes from being my friend Adam into my son Sam. This is troubling to me.

  • alarm

    Last night at 3AM the alarm clock on my wife’s nightstand went off, without any cause or reason.

    My wife never uses the clock for anything other than to tell time. It’s been sitting there for years. No one had been in our room, no one had any reason to fiddle with it or set an alarm… but it went off in the middle of the night.

    All by itself.

  • unseen


    Dozing on the couch this morning…

    ….I come into the room and see a baseball cap suspended in the air at about waist height, nothing apparently holding it up. It is not frozen in place,  immobile — rather, it drifts and bobs slightly, like a magician’s trick.

    I reach out to grab it, try to push it down, but something unseen resists. Try again, but it is like pressing against a powerful helium balloon.

    And then it has me.

    An unseen pressure wraps around my forearm, climbing to my shoulder, tightening around my chest. I try to raise my arms but something forces them back down. I try to speak, to banish this entity with my words of power, with the names of my gods, but my jaw is held fast and my lips will only allow a burbling mumble to escape.

    I push backwards to escape its grasp but it is like moving through taffy. It is all around me now, forcing my head down and holding my arms in an invisible half-Nelson.

    It throws me against the wall and I try again to speak, to banish. Nothing but idiot sounds and whimpers escape my lips.

    I raise my hands against it, try to snap my fingers or clap, anything to break its hold… But the unseen dread forces my arms back down to my sides, pressing me harder against the wall.

    No, it’s not a wall. It’s the closed door of the room.

    I wrap my fingers around the knob and twist, throwing myself backwards out of the room. But I can’t escape the grasp of this thing which now pulls me backward down the hall, upright and heels dragging on the floor.

    In the family room, my wife sits up on the couch as I fall, stumble in slow motion through the room. Still captured, I stare at her and mumble my pleas for help as the unseen force slowly lifts me and proceeds to throw me around the room while my wife watches in horror.
    I wake up, my arms tingling with pins and needles, still trying to speak… and failing.

  • my phone buzzes

    Message from my wife this morning…

    Just another day at The Last House.

  • by the pricking

    The theater is crowded with people, waiting for the play to begin. My wife and I sit and wait, looking through the program and studying posters for past productions lining the walls.

    When the show begins, I am transfixed. I’ve seen Macbeth a few times before, but this is just amazing. The witches scene is easily one of the most unsettling, disturbing experiences I’ve ever had in a theater.

    The lights darken, the stage and audience in complete blackness. A flicker of lightning, a woman’s voice over the speakers, harsh, rasping out the classic line “By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”

    I’m a little irritated by this shuffling of the text, but then the darkened theater is overrun with murmurs and whispers . . . feet scuttle up and down the aisles . . . something, someone crawls over me, panting out Shakespeare’s lines . . . hands tug at my arms and legs . . . the footsteps rattle off towards the darkened stage.

    When the lights come up, half of the audience has already left their seats. I assume they just couldn’t handle the intensity of it all. I barely kept it together. I note my wife’s seat is empty and I rise to go and find her.

    Through the shuffling crowd, I see an old acquaintance — a theater director from years past — sitting stunned in his seat. I wave but he looks right through me. I can’t tell if he recognizes me, if his glare of baffled fury is for me or for the production.

    At the concession stand, I buy two candy bars and head back into the theater. Somewhere along the way, my clothes have been lost. I’ve got a white towel wrapped around my waist.

    I sit and wait, a little uncomfortable about my limited attire, and wonder where my wife has got to…

  • pest control

    Here’s an e-mail i sent to my wife this morning, slowly starting to put together a plan to exorcise the entity that currently occupying our house…

    What I know (or think I know) about the entity in our house…

    • It is not human.
    • It never was human.
    • It is a conscious, aware entity.
    • It is negative.
    • It is drawn to insecurity, anxiety, and fear.
    • It can induce insecurity, anxiety, and depression.
    • It is not affected or intimidated by anger.
    • It can vocalize. It can speak.
    • It can make itself physically visible.
    • It is small but likes to pretend to be larger than it is.
    • It can imitate or impersonate different forms (male, female, animal, shadow).
    • It’s actual form is small, hunched, twisted, emaciated, pale.
    • It wears a mask.
    • It’s real face is humanoid but damaged, skinned with exposed flesh, eye sockets, and teeth.
    • It can make physical noise in the environment.
    • It can have physical contact with people.
    • It can have physical interaction with objects.
    • It does not appear to be related to other phenomena or spirits in the house.
    • It does not have any apparent connection or claim on our house or land.
    • It does not have an apparent connection or claim to anyone currently living in the house.
    • It appears to have full run of the house and is not limited or confined to particular rooms or areas.
    • It does not want us to leave the house. It is not trying to drive us away.
    • It goes inactive for periods of time.
    • It increases activity when there are significant shifts in the weather or seasons.
    • It is more active at night.
    • It can manifest in or affect dreams, particularly during the hypnagogic stage.
    • It manifests most often in the bedrooms, presumably because that’s when people are alone or vulnerable.
    • It does not appear to target animals or pets.
    • It tends to avoid attacks or activity when multiple people are present.
    • It attacks individuals when they are alone.
    • It attacks women more than men.

    Now, a couple of assumptions of which I am fairly confident…

    • It is not particularly strong.
    • It avoids direct confrontation or interaction.
    • It prefers indirect or surprise attacks.
    • It is not old.
    • It does not have a name.
    • It feeds on negativity, sadness, mental instability, or suffering.
    • It most likely is a manifestation generated by the grief, guilt, and suffering that occurred after Chris and Kelly’s [the previous owners] baby died.
    • It did not cause the death of their baby.

    (I suppose it is possible that it existed before Chris and Kelly, and it just attached itself and fed off of their misfortune. But I don’t think so.)

    _____

    We lead an interesting life.

  • nemesis

    Talking with my wife today about recent events, particularly those involving our daughter. Making plans for when the exorcism should be performed, discussing when she might be able take our daughter out of the house for an hour or two. So I can work.

    She remarks that we should time it with the next full moon phase. Personally, I don’t necessarily see that as a requirement for this particular sort of entity but we’re in this together, she knows what she’s talking about, and it can’t hurt to check when the moon will be full next.

    Eight days away.

    So we have to keep it tamped down for about a week. A few simple cleansing rituals, push it back into the corners and make sure not to give it anything to gain strength from — no negativity, fear, stress.

    Fair enough.

    Starting in on some work at the office, Spotify’s “Your Discover Weekly” playlist queues up a song I haven’t heard (or even thought about) in almost two decades. Shriekback’s “Nemesis”.

    I have a faint memory of seeing the video for this song on MTV, recalling a vague sense of unease and dread that it instilled in me — the feeling that something dark was being invoked.

    “No one move muscle as the dead come home.”

    Okay then. Thanks Spotify but if you’re going to be like that I think I’ll just go with Sirius XM for the rest fo the afternoon.

    The song playing on Sirius XM is, you guessed it, Shriekback’s “Nemesis”.

    That’s… odd, I think to myself.

    And then the next song is Depeche Mode’s “Blasphemous Rumors”.

    After that, it’s INXS “Devil Inside”.

    Makes you wonder, wonder, wonder…

  • not a bat

    “She says she saw something in the back stairwell,” my wife tells me.

    Our daughter is eight years old and not prone to flights of fancy or making things up. Also, we have been very careful to not let her overhear any of our conversations about what is going on here at home.

    When I talk to my daughter, this is what she tells me:

    She saw something hanging from the wall in the back hallway, up near the ceiling. A big dark mass, something solid. About the size of a cat. It reminded her of a bat, curled up and hanging there. It was alive, “kind of like an animal.” She ran to get her mom, thinking it might be a bat (we get them sometimes in the house, especially during the summer) but when they got back it was gone.

    If there was a bat that big in our house, I tell my daughter, we would know it.

    “You did the right thing,” I tell her. “If you ever see anything like that again, just come and get me or mom right away. We’ll take care of it.”

  • Winterly

    My wife, her best friend, and I decide to drop acid for the first time.

    We lay back on the couch and each of us take the squishy pink pill and chew slowly.

    I only eat half of mine. I’m worried about what might happen if I take a whole one.

    In time, I stand up and feel my balance shift and sway like I’m on a boat.

    There are stars, drifting in the air right in front of me — like dust motes. I wave my hand and watch them scatter and dance.

    My wife has fallen asleep. So her friend and I decide to go outside and let her rest.

    We walk, talking of little things that I no longer remember.

    When I look over to her, she is no longer who I thought she was. She has become an actress that I know well from movies in the 80’s and 90’s.

    I note that this is odd but I am distracted by the little village we’re walking through and I say, with some excitement, “I need to remember this so I can include it in the book I’m writing.”

    “Yeah, you should.” Her voice is wry and I realize that’s why she brought me here.

    We go into one of the little stucco bungalows. It is dark inside, Spanish tile floors and deep red wall hangings. Little faux candles flickering in wright iron wall sconces.

    I feel a little self-conscious being with her. People are coming up to her and asking for her autograph. One woman, bursts into tears when she recognizes her. “Is it really you?”

    My companion takes it all in stride, gracious and kind and gentle with each of them. She gives the crying woman a hug and the woman’s handbag falls open, spilling out onto the dark tile floor.

    I stoop and collect the scattered items. I don’t remember much of what was there. A wallet, I think — pale leather with a gold clasp. But I do remember the handful of jelly beans, picking them up one by one.

    I also remember feeling the actress’ approving gaze on me. And I’m a little proud of myself for being chivalrous.

    When we go back outside, the actress inspects a little scrap of paper the crying woman gave her and says something I don’t quite understand about pie.

    “How sweet,” she says. “She said I can have it on my wheels.”

    I realize it’s a joke. Not “pie” but “Pi” — there’s a bicycle there, leaning against a low concrete wall.

    As she swings her leg over the seat of the bike, I ask the actress if it’s hard having all those people know who she is?

    “Who do you think that I am?”

    I’m flustered for a moment. There is a frankness in her manner and I’m embarrassed by it.

    “Uh, you’re my wife’s best friend?” I say, faltering at the end as I start to realize…

    She gives me a pitying, kind look. She steps off the bike and comes back to me. Placing her hands on my chest, she stands up on tiptoe to kiss me.

    It’s a light kiss, brief and gentle. The kiss of a sister or something an old flame would give you, long after your time together.

    And then she is gone… Away on her bicycle I suppose. I’m not sure because I’ve woken up, wondering why I would have a dream about Winona Ryder of all people.

    Then I realize who it really was.

    It hits me like a blow… but the thought is surprisingly comforting.

    Winterly

     

  • comfort

    “You were crying in your sleep last night,” my wife said this morning.

    “I was?”

    “You were whimpering. It went on for a while. I couldn’t get you to wake up.”

    I remembered then.

    I remembered waking up, her hand on my shoulder.

    I remember hearing myself crying in the dark.

    But I don’t remember why.

  • forearms

    Napping this afternoon on the couch, I dream…

    …we’re sitting at the dining room table, my wife and I.

    I hear someone call “Tom” from the back hallway. I turn to see something there, down at the bottom of the steps — small and pale, almost like a child.

    “Don’t look!” my wife says just as it rushes up towards me…

    …awaken with a gasp, lying on the couch with my arms across on my chest.

    I cannot open my eyes. I cannot breathe. I cannot move.

    Something is holding it’s hands on my forearms, pressing me down.

    My breath hisses out between my bared teeth. Little gasps push out of me. I can hear myself whimpering as I struggle to rise, to open my eyes, to speak the name of my God.

    Panic. I can feel my body shaking with the effort to move, those hands holding me down . . . something over me, drawing the breath out of me in long, hissing strands.

    Finally I manage one word: “Ssssssssasssssstop.”

    Immediately, the pressure on my arms lightens and I sit up and open my eyes.

    Alone in the room.

    Even now, writing this, my shoulders and forearms ache as though I’d been carrying a great weight.

    And I can still hear that hissing whimper in my ears. It sounds a little bit like laughter.

  • a fall

    When I get home after work, my youngest daughter meets me at the door. I’m late and phoned ahead to say they should start dinner without me.

    A plate of half-eaten food waits at my wife’s place at the same able. But she is nowhere to be seen.

    “Mama went upstairs,” our daughter tells me.

    After a few minutes, my wife comes downstairs. She takes me aside.

    “Just before you came home, there was this huge crash from upstairs. But it wasn’t like the knocking from before. It was like someone just dumped an armful of books onto the floor right overhead. And it was fucking loud. ”

    She is rattled, just a bit. I wait for her to go on.

    “I went up and Vincent” — that’s one of our cats — “Was sitting on our bed, frozen. His eyes were fucking huge.”

    She couldn’t find anything out of place in our room, nothing to explain the noise.

    I go up to check and, yeah, there’s nothing.

    Later, she notices that a framed photo on a high shelf behind our bed is laying flat on its face.

    It’s a photo of the two of us.

  • hard knocks

    My daughter an I are in my office when my wife calls from the TV room. I hear her but it doesn’t register until she calls again, a rising note of alarm in her voice.

    “What’s wrong?”

    She is pale, intense. I can’t tell if she’s angry or something else.

    “I just heard…”

    She stops, starts again.

    “Someone just knocked on the ceiling in the family room.”

    She looks at me, eyes wide. “It was like this: Bang bang bang… Bang bang… Bang bang bang. It was someone knocking on the floor of our room. Fucking loud.”

    I head upstairs. One of the cats is sitting on our bed. He starts when I come into the room, but he doesn’t move.

    There’s a little alcove off of our bedroom, directly above the TV room on the ground floor. My wife has an antique desk and vanity in the alcove. There are photos and mementos on the window sill. A large green crystal hangs from the archway leading into the alcove.

    Even still, I have never liked that part of the room. It unsettles me, open like that. When I come to bed each night, I have to resist giving any of my imagination to the mental image of who or what might be standing there waiting in the dark.

    While the cat watches, I look around. There’s nothing on the floor, nothing fell.

    Nothing to explain the insistent, deliberate knocking my wife heard.

  • beginning of the end

    …and my wife’s face contorts in pain, her brow furrowed. I ask her what’s wrong but, before she can answer, a wave of distortion ripples through the air like a mirage.

    “Something’s happened.” I look out the window and see a mushroom cloud rising in the distance.

    20140719-082223-30143388.jpg

    The television fills in the rest of the details: Every major city in the US is in chaos after multiple ‘dirty bomb’ attacks.

    The footage is terrifying. People flood the streets. Suddenly we are all refugees.

    Holding our daughter between us, my wife and I start making plans…

    …I wake in the pre-dawn dark, wondering if this dream was just that or something more: A precognition of something to come? Or just a byproduct of sleeping with a sword under my bed?

  • a sad girl

    …lying in bed this morning, I woke to the sound of the bedroom door opening.

    I hear my wife slowly close the door behind her. I hear her footsteps on the floorboards, approaching my side of the bed.

    I cannot move, cannot open my eyes.

    I feel a fingertip on my arm, just inside the hinge of my elbow.

    The footsteps move away. I struggle to rise, to grasp the her arm but my hand feels strange, tingling in the air where I reach for her, a moment’s resistance . . . then the woman pulls away and walks into a little alcove on the other side of the room.

    The woman is gone. It was not my wife. It was someone else, someone younger — her hair was longer, darker — and she had long scratches or cuts down her arms. And she was sad.

    I cannot confidently say whether or not this was a dream.

  • bath time

    “Will you check the tub in a minute?”

    My wife comes into the room, a little cross. We are getting our daughter ready for bed.

    20140512-203346.jpg

    “What’s wrong?”

    “There was almost no water in the tub and it was cold.”

    “Really?”

    She repeats this again. Unspoken is the rebuke — or, perhaps, the fear — that something odd has happened.

    It was full, I know. And warm. I checked it myself just a few minutes earlier.

  • the short

    We’re in the back bedroom, my wife and I. Fucking.

    It’s hard sometimes to find the time, the moment. Children, work, day-to-day life — these things conspire and distract and exhaust.

    But we find the time, when we can. We find the moments, synchronized, together. And it is good. Perhaps it is too brief, too short. But we know each other so well now.

    Like tonight. Together in the bed in the back bedroom — my absent son’s bedroom converted to a guest room for the time being.

    The room sits in the relationship corner of our home, according to my understanding of feng shui. So, I suppose, it’s good that we don’t leave it empty. It’s good we fill it, from time to time, with each other.

    As we fuck, the window rattles — the expected ice storm has arrived.

    Reaching the end, of our short time — doing my best to hold out as long as I can, to stretch the moment and the movement as long as possible — I look up at my wife’s beautiful face shrouded in shadow. A moment later there is a flash of light and she laughs, suddenly visible.

    The bedside lamp has turned on by itself.

    It flickers, then goes dark.

    This happens, more or less, five or six times before we’re finished.

    It almost seems to be an accompaniment to my wife’s final burst of lovemaking, a response to her rising and falling.

    After she heads to the shower, I inspect the lamp. I try to find a reason for the erratic interruption. Nothing I do will replicate the odd flashing.

    I unplug it, just in case there is a short.

    For the rest of the evening, even now, I’m fighting the feeling that someone is just behind me — quiet, waiting.

    Outside, the ice storm seems to have passed. It is cold. My hair is on end. I do not know if I will sleep tonight.

  • a tornado, two corpses, and a leather sofa

    Inside the house, people are starting to panic. The sky outside is dark and green, the wind bending the trees to almost impossible angles. We can hear the sirens and, in a house this old, there is no safe place . . . every room has windows, the elderly frame flexes and creaks in the wind just like the trees outside.

    Women huddle with their children, people cover in corners and try to stay out of the way as pictures fall from walls, little knickknacks shatter to the floor.

    I can feel a pressure in the house, a suction that ebbs and flows as the storm overhead rages on. I move from room to room, peeking out of windows as I pass, making sure they stay open so that the suction won’t blow them out completely.

    Through one window, I watch as a massive trees outside comes down. The entire house shudders under the weight of it. People are screaming now.

    I look up to the mass of gray swirling in the sky, like ink in milk . . . funnel clouds dance around each other, like strands of barbed wire twisted together. I count five of them, shouting out to the people to take cover. The funnels move in.

    I head into another room and suddenly the house is vibrating, a low hum that slowly builds to unbelievable intensity. I can feel it in my eardrums, in my molars, in my gut.

    People are praying, people are crying.

    Looking back on it now, I am surprised I did not think of the gods.

    The ceiling of the room I am in begins to peel away, I move quickly to the other side of the house . . . Just in time to see something so odd, my eyes have trouble making sense of it at first.

    It is a rubble in the suddenly still air of the room, a wavering column of distortion that runs from floor to ceiling, as wide as a refrigerator and spinning. It moves across and through the opposite wall without leaving a trace of its passing.

    Then all is quiet once more — save for the sobs and cries from the other rooms.

    Later…

    The specific circumstances of it escape me now, but at some point I am helping out with a local theatre company in town. One of the actors has an old van that we need to pick up to haul props. I volunteer to go over to their house and collect it.

    They live in a seedy part of town, their house is a hoarder’s nightmare. Out back in the tall weed a is a rusty van, engine idling.

    I go to see if they’re inside, ready to go . . . only to find that while they are inside, they’ve already gone.

    Her face is bloated, her lank gray hair matted to her skull with sweat and vomit. There’s no way of telling how long she’s been this way.

    Repulsed, I back away.

    And later still…

    “I need to talk to you,” my son tells me. I nod and suggest we go out back where it is quieter and the people at the party won’t bother us.

    Why we are having the cast party in the dead woman’s house, I don’t know. It didn’t seem odd at the time, but I have a vague recollection of being worried that she might be discovered back there and somehow spoil things for everyone.

    On the rickety back porch, I see the van in the weeds — the engine has long since run out of gas — and I suddenly remember that I never called the police.

    My son is already down the steps, trying the side door of the van. I call to him to leave it be but he is curious. Something dark and vile has pooled at one corner in the grass below, running from the door frame like a faucet accidentally left on.

    He opens the door and I hear his disgust. He starts to move the body, to try and get her out but she’s become a liquid, gelatinous mess. I tell him to leave things as they are, otherwise the police might suspect him of trying to cover something up.

    He runs inside to call 911.

    Standing there in the dead grass, I turn my head to look down the broad alley at the back of the house. A few yards down there is a splintered wooden fence, leaning to one side. A large dead tree bends low over it, the skeletal boughs hanging over the alley.

    Caught in the boughs is the body of a small child.

    And just before I wake…

    My wife and I are walking through the house, we cannot believe that we are so lucky to have a place of our own at last. In the attic room we find an old leather sofa that the previous owners have left behind. I flop down on it in exhaustion. Under my hand, the dull surface gleams as I wipe the dust away.

    My wife stands at the gable window and looks out onto the street below. She turns and raises her blouse over her head, tosses it aside. Her jeans and panties follow. By the time she gets to me, I am ready for her.

    She straddles me and we begin to move, the old sofa creaking under us.

    Somewhere down below in the house, we hear a door slam. A woman calls out, we hear the voices of children, little feet running up the stairs…

  • little girls

    Reported by my wife:

    A few days ago she and our daughter were in the back stairwell, getting ready to go for a walk. Once she got our daughter into her shoes, my wife sat down to put her own on. While she was doing this, our daughter went down the three steps to the back door.

    My wife could hear her down there.

    “Who are you talking to, honey?”

    “I’m talking to the little girl,” came the reply.

    “What little girl?”

    “The one right here.”

    A sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, my wife asked “What does the little girl look like?”

    “She looks like a sheet.”

  • early morning

    Woken by my daughter early this morning, unable to get back to sleep so I head downstairs to sit in the predawn dark, looking up from my book from time to time as little beads of shadow stream across the floor like dark mercury.

    An hour or so later, I hear footfalls overhead.

    They move through the laundry room to the back stairs. But they do not descend.

    Later that morning, I ask my wife if she got up earlier. She did not.

  • peeking

    Later…

    Sitting in the living room, talking with my wife while our daughter plays . . . I see someone peek around the corner of the entry leading into the dining room, a brief flash like someone pokes their head out for a quick look and then ducked back behind the wall when I looked in their direction.

    Still cheating with my wife, I rise and go to have a look.

    Nothing. No one.

    I sit back down and we continue our conversation. Over the next few minutes the peeking face pops out again five or six times. Irritating.

    I check again, making sure no one is there. It’s starting to wear on me. I have this feeling someone is deliberately messing with me.

    The face is round-cheeked, almost cartoonish. With high brows and a surprised expression. I am reminded, vaguely, of Randy Quaid.

    The skin on my forearms stings, as though sunburned. My hair stands on end. I am chilled.

    One last time the face pops out. This time it has changed. No longer the goofy expression, now the eyes are dark pits and the gaping mouth flaps open, an insane toothless maw. Horrid.

    When I get scared, I get angry. And I am very angry now.

    My wife asks “Are you okay?”

    “I’m having a bit of a problem at the moment.”

    After filling her in, I burn some myrrh and juniper — offering to the gods and banishing anything else.

    Nothing for the rest of the night, but the clammy feeling left by the memory of that hideous face still clings to me.

  • lavender dress

    My wife went to the market one afternoon this past weekend. The weather was warm and she was wearing a long lavender dress, very lovely. The dress has bare arms and drapes in a style reminiscent of a statue of a Greek goddess.

    While she was out, a flash of color caught my eye in the back hallway. I saw the lavender dress, someone on the landing above the stairs leading down to the back door.

    I assumed it was my wife but when I went to help carry in the bags, the hallway was empty.

    This happened twice before my wife came home.

    Then again tonight, I saw someone in the dress move down the back stairs.

    My wife was upstairs putting our daughter to bed.

    This time, though, the dress was pale blue.

  • precision

    …with slow, precise snips of the nail clippers, I remove most of my right toenail, somewhat proud to have done it in a single, broad piece.

    The skin beneath is tender, painful. I hope my wife will not notice.

  • david and mickey

    It’s night and we’re driving, my friend David and me.

    I’ve known him a long time. Since we were in sixth grade, I think. We’ve stayed in touch that whole time, mostly.

    Well, we fall out of touch and then back into touch. We haven’t seen each other in years — almost twenty, I think . . . though I’m not quite sure exactly how long it’s been.

    But we’re back together for the evening, heading over to the old mall to see the new Mickey Mouse cartoon that’s just been released. David is excited. I’m feeling sleepy a bit under the weather. I haven’t been sleeping.

    Most times it seems like I always haven’t been sleeping.

    At the mall, David produces a small swipe card — somehow he’s managed to clone it from one of the security guards, in order to sneak in to the movies without paying. He has one for me as well and I’m feeling a bit panicky as we swipe our way through the back door, coming face to face with a guard.

    He ignore us. In our suits and ties, I suppose we look like we belong there, behind the scenes.

    I follow David through the hallways to an area behind the movie screen. There is a small riser of stadiums seats, sparsely attended, looking down on a little orchestra pit and a small constellation of microphones. I realize that the movie soundtrack and dialogue will be performed live for the premiere, like an old time live radio show.

    For reasons I that aren’t explained, the sound effects are recorded on the film, however.

    I watch the actors mug their way through the performance, mildly impressed at how well everything goes. I forget sometimes to watch the screen where Mickey’s antics play out in silvered, larger-than-life magic.

    A woman makes her way through the seats, selling concessions. She has the pillbox cap, fishnet stockings, and pin curls of yesteryear. But all she has to sell are oversized chili dogs in greasy wax paper envelopes — far more suitable for a ballpark than a movie.

    I buy one and, somehow, my youngest daughter is there to help me share it. Though she makes a terrible mess of it and I worry that my wife will be upset over the junk food and additives. We’re so careful with her diet…