[This is directly transcribed, without changes or edits, from a journal entry dated May 4th, 2000]<\/p>\n
...and because I have been thrown out of my house, lost any connection to my wife and children, I am living in an old building adjacent to where I work \u2014 downtown, in the old industrial district, where an empty warehouse is easy to find.<\/em><\/p>\n I barely have any clothes and none of my belongings, but I make due \u2014 hiding my shame by getting to work extra early each day and staying late.<\/p>\n Shortly I come to realize that the place where I am staying is haunted \u2014 a small girl with dark hair and pale clothes flits about shyly in the evenings. She is sad and somewhat horrible as well. The is a demoniac sense to her, the way she pops up without warning.<\/p>\n Late in the evening, on my way back to my new \u201chome\u201d, I pass by a bar and some women out front shout at me. One of the comes over and after a brief conversation she suggests I bring her home with me. I do.<\/p>\n We get back to my small room. She is already all over me.and before I can lock the door she is kneeling on the bed, unclothed, pulling her dress up over her head.<\/p>\n I turn to see her there, and I stop for a moment.<\/p>\n She smiled wide and warm, and then I see her eyes dart to a place beside me and her smile falters.<\/p>\n There dark girl is there, hideous and livid.<\/p>\n And I suddenly realize that she is not a ghost, never was a ghost \u2014 this thing was never alive, never drew breath or felt joy. What has come is older than anything in creation, masquerading,<\/p>\n She looks at my companion, frozen in a parody of her formerly seductive pose, and she speaks.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t remember what was said, but the truth of it strikes home with such force that my \u201cdate\u201d is driven from the room, sobbing and weeping.<\/p>\n And, alone with that terrible pale girl, I wait. She looks at me for a moment.<\/p>\n And then she is gone.<\/p>\n The next day, in my dream, my secret is found out by the people I work for. I can\u2019t recall how, but it is discovered.<\/p>\n The big surprises: First, they aren\u2019t angry with me for being there, they\u2019re sympathetic in fact. I find out that one of them also did a similar thing with his ex-wife \u2014 he stayed where I am staying.<\/p>\n Face with this information, I don\u2019t say anything but I know my face tells it all.<\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>Yeah, I was there for a few weeks,\u201d he says, watching me.<\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>Is the ghost still there?\u201d He asks, offhand.<\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>Yes.\u201d I am dumbfounded.<\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>Man, she used to scare the shit out of me.\u201d He laughs.<\/p>\n One of the others says \u201cWhat\u2019s this ghost?\u201d<\/p>\n We tell him and, goaded by his fascination, I offer to bring him down.<\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>I gotta see this,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n As we walk down the hallway, it begins.<\/p>\n Far up the hall, we can see her standing there watching us.<\/p>\n As we approach, I recognize a familiar feeling of cold dread.<\/p>\n Brackets and boxes fly off shelves, thrown at us by unseen forces.<\/p>\n Prepared for this, nerves ringing like an alarm, I knock them away from us \u2014 grabbing a broom and brandishing it like a sword.<\/p>\n My friend marvels at my skill.<\/p>\n \u201c<\/span>Yeah, I\u2019ve got a high midichlorian count.\u201d<\/p>\n We continue on towards the girl. She is hideous and pale, and the lines other face are very dark, her eyes like pits.<\/p>\n I know what she is, and it is no ghost \u2014 she is something far older, engaged in a grotesque masquerade, playacting the child in a diabolically ironic manner.<\/p>\n We sit and speak of childish things. I am hoping to draw her away from my real thoughts but I can feel the rage boiling within her and I cannot stop it when it finally surfaces.<\/p>\n Nearby an old man sleeps on the sidewalk, drunk beyond all waking.<\/p>\n She finally reveals what I already know.<\/p>\n I am talking with her, realizing that my phony jocular child voice is not only annoying to her, but entirely unnecessary... I know she knows that I know what she truly is, and I know that she knows that I know that she knows that I know.<\/p>\n But I keep up the pretense; I can see her fighting it at every step.<\/p>\n Finally, we discuss the colder weather and Halloween is coming soon, I remark.<\/p>\n And with that, she goes ballistic \u2014 force and rage radiating off of her, she\u2019s halfway levitating, screaming with rage.<\/p>\n And then I wake up, frightened by one of my own dreams for the first time in a very long time.<\/p>\n [2013 Addendum: Although this dream raised a number of disturbing feelings, I remember being very proud of the Star Wars joke. In fact, I still am.]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" [This is directly transcribed, without changes or edits, from a journal entry dated May 4th, 2000] ...and because I have been thrown out of my house, lost any connection to my wife and children, I am living in an old building adjacent to where I work \u2014 downtown, in the old industrial district, where an empty [\u2026]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[289,36,283,293,288,161,286,839,263,292,287,295,294,291,153,290,285,284],"class_list":["post-197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dreams","tag-afraid","tag-anger","tag-bars","tag-cold","tag-crying","tag-demons","tag-divorce","tag-ghosts","tag-girls","tag-halloween","tag-haunting","tag-masquerade","tag-rage","tag-secrets","tag-sex","tag-star-wars","tag-warehouse","tag-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=197"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":717,"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197\/revisions\/717"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tmcamp.com\/yesod\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}