There’s a longer blog post brewing in the back of my mind right now, something about the Gods and the movies that hate them.

But for now, I’ll stick to saying how I’m disappointed, though not surprised, to hear that Tarsem’s latest film “Immortals” is an awful mess…

Here’s everything you need to know about Immortals, the new movie from director Tarsam Singh [sic] that’s (extremely) loosely based on Thesus [sic, again], the hero from Greek mythology: At one point, Zeus gets super mad at Apollo for interfering with the humans, so he blasts him through a stone wall. It’s built up as this huge moment for Zeus that shows how dedicated he is to allowing mankind to forge its own destiny rather than be shepherded by the gods, and clearly meant to be a big, pivotal moment for the film.

And then we see that the blast has left a perfectly Apollo-shaped hole in the rock as if he were a Looney Tunes Character. That’s Immortals in a nutshell.

(From the Comics Alliance review)

For the record, I love Tarsem’s The Fall. It’s a gorgeous, heartfelt piece of cinema that few other movies can match. I’m told that he had absolute control over every aspect of that film, from script to final cut . . . which might explain a lot.

I’d been planning on going to see “Immortals” in the theaters — a bit of a luxury these days, with a young toddler at home — based on the subject matter and Tarsem’s involvement.

Not anymore. I’ll probably be happier staying at home and watching episodes from the excellent Clash of the Gods or Jim Henson’s The Storyteller series instead.